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Polaroids Of Androids


12 bands, 12 days (approx), 12 words (approx)
January, 2011

Silly season. Right? The silliest even. I mean, every where we went/looked in January there was something great happening, about to happen or just heaps of rad skater kids kickin' it in a carpark talking about their "shit happens" singlets. Our city in summer. It's just like Fashion Week. Except instead of heaps of lame parties full of scenester fuckheads trying to our scenester fuckhead each other there's heaps of awesome bands/music/stuff. And tonnes more babes.

Despite the fact I'm tickling the rim of 40 years young, I filled up my January itinerary like a English Backpacker Slut at a Gold Panda Rave. Funnily enough, that's where we start this little adventure....

Gold Panda @ Hyde Park Barracks - 14/01/2011
Too many raving geezers. We get it. You won the Ashes. We're happy for you. No, really. I know you want us to be pissed off. But we're not. Half way through this show, around the same time the Mackem Bastard in front of me stepped on my toe for the 20,000th time, I had an incredible sense of deja vu. I'd seen Four Tet do this exact same thing about five years earlier. Twiddle some nobs, get some hands-in-the-air from some trashed back-packing Brits and exhibit roughly the same amount of stage presence as a nun doing some part-time stripper work to raise funds for her Gwanda/Brisbane Relief Project.

Gold Panda

Bare Grillz @ Summer Vibes 2011, Newcastle - 16/01/2011
Probably the best band in Australia. I mean, other than a few. Nah, Bare Grillz ARE the best band in Australia/Newcastle. So much fire in their bellies which they communicate to an audience nicely with help from their arms and legs. And it's like a fucking musical inferno.

Assassins 88/TV Colours @ Summer Vibes 2011, Newcastle - 16/01/2011
Actually, scrap that. These bros are probably the best band in Australia. Actually, who cares about Labels, Titles, Acclaim. So much force, power, determination. So much carefree party-til-you-face-pukes attitude. They literally blow my cock off every time I see them. And I've had to have that shit re-upholstered. I mean re-enforced.

Straight Arrows @ Summer Vibes, 2011, Newcastle - 16/01/2011
Just some punx from Sydney. Dunno if you've heard of 'em. If not, you should do yourself a solid and get them up you like a dog at a rugby league game. During this show guitarist Alex Griggsy Griggernaut Griggs made heaps of funny fuck faces at the audience. More Newcastle unwanted pregnancies that afternoon than when the Frogstomp Limited Edition was released. Facts.


Thee Oh Sees @ Summer Vibes 2011, Newcastle - 16/01/2011
I've been balancing right on the edge of loving these dudes for ages. Something (13 minute opening tracks) always held me back. Live they're a totally different kettle of tea/fish. Heaps of sugar. Heaps of house party chaos. Heaps of punx. They played on the floor which is heaps punx and broke their gear and got new gear from one of the other bands and then probably broke that and told them to Deal With ItTM.

John Malcovich @ Town Hall - 17/01/2011
Nah, it wasn't a rare acoustic set from Malky but rather an interview. Interesting stuff, but the interviewer let the side down. Didn't pick up on the fact John Boy was willing to talk about his seemingly troubled childhood and instead steered the conversation back towards his pre-planned line of questions about his acting work, Spike Jonze and what kind of razor he uses. Also, not nearly enough Cyrus The Virus Qs.

Whores @ Ching-a-lings - 18/01/2011
You can't understand a word they say. And it doesn't matter. They swallow microphones, kinda like how Karen O used to swallow rockets/nuts of Brooklyn Hipsters back in the 90s. Except their not as slutty. Books. Covers. Release a fucking album already you cunts.

Marf Loth @ Ching-a-lings - 18/01/2011
That dude from Straight Arrows pumped the drums. That tall dude from Dead Farmers flicked his fingers. That other dude from Straight Arrows pulled out because he thought they were gonna do "Marf's ballad-y Townsville songs". But this was a Punx Set. Cuntloads of fire in the bellies and in the middle of it all there was Mr Loth, throwing charisma at the audience like a Sex Pistol/monkey/SLC Punk trapped in a playpen.

Royal Headache @ Oxford Art Factory - 25/01/2011
When did they get so tight? Seriously. They sounded like they spent the Holiday Months getting serious about their craft. Great to see them refining the details and working towards their destiny of releasing The Best Album Of 2011/2012/2013/2017TM.

Andrew WK @ Oxford Art Factory - 25/01/2011


My Disco @ Hyde Park Barracks - 27/01/2011
The age old expression remains true - "you never like a My Disco album until you see them play it live". I missed the Little Joy album tour because I was getting laid in Paris/Berlin but now I'm all up in that bitch like a lover in Paris/Berlin.

Holy Fuck @ Hyde Park Barracks - 27/01/2011
And we end where we started. Except Holy Fuck prove that, as an 'electronic band', you can put on a seriously head-fucking, brain-melting, completely life-sucking/engaging/amazing live performance. Soul saving/sucking. Still one of the best live bands at the moment.

Filed Under
Gold Panda
Bare Grillz
Assassins 88
TV Colours
Straight Arrows
Thee Oh Sees
Marf Loth
Royal Headache
Andrew WK
My Disco
Holy Fuck


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Homesick. *tear*

1 decade ago


The trouble with things like Gold Panda / Fourtet live is that people go expecting to 'see' something, instead of just closing their eyes and freaking the fuck out. // Holy Fuck = Brilliant.

1 decade ago

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