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Polaroids Of Androids

Record Reviews


Waka Flocka Flame

Ladies, get your rape whistles ready. Oh wait, we're not yet at that stage where we treat (attempted)1 rape with a slightly jovial tone? Sorry. It's just hard not to envision wilder beasts ploughing through the fields of Womanhood like Nazis through Spain while listening to this record. Even ugly Eastern Block ladies are probably gonna get it. Stereotypes.

More socially acceptable is the other purpose of this album — to get you really fucking amped. Four tracks in and you're probably already looking around the room for shit to break like Freddy Durst on a 17-year old girl's adulthood. There's also a strong chance you'll steal a Toyota Camry on your way to work. Not organised crime. You just want to cruise around for a bit, maybe get some junk food, go and see Tammy G and maybe take a shit in the backseat.

So, yes, Flockaveli is a hardcore rap record and if those two reactions above are it's purpose then it's successfully kicked both it's goals. Or more precisely - ripped off the head of the referee and then kicked it in between two posts.

But sometimes we don't want to commit crime, violate members of the female species and/or force someone to fork over $500 in bullshit insurance excesses. Sometimes you're in the mood to just take a gentle stroll down to the local Farmer's Markets to pick up some of that nice blue cheese your wife likes. If this album is in the headphones on this leisurely twenty minute waltz then Beatrice, the Hungarian cheese lady, will probably find herself Jarlsberged.

That is, if the album doesn't send you to sleep first.

Yes, even though I've spent a good fifteen paragraphs now explaining how much this album will get you more fucking pumped-up than a bag of Blacktown Backyard Speed (tm), when it boils down to it, it's actually fairly dull. This isn't because of a lack of effort though and the combination of Waka's gangster strut, the endless weed carrier ad-libs and the Southern drum machine schizophrenia generally keep the songs buzzing, but it's the complete lack of variety across the release that ultimately forces it grow so tiresome, so quickly.

The predictable, self-created restrictive parameters that have become a standard within the genre are the most at fault, with the majority of the 17 tracks following a similar path - heavy breathing, "yo-gonna-get-it" momentum build-up, before eventually spurting all over the room with a fairly explosive crew sing-a-long (not as ghey as it sounds). The limited production range of Lex Luger, who is behind the boards for over half of the tracks, partnered with Waka's often stale flow — really nothing more than an un-chilled flip of his ex-mentor Gucci Mane — quickly forces the songs to melt into each other until the best and the worst songs are only a gooch's2 width apart.

Me and my wigga mates will probably get a few laps through this record before returning it to the shelf and picking up Onyx's Bacdafucup (because it's funnier) and/or DMX's It's Dark and Hell Is Hot (for the variety). Flockaveli is suitable as a quick fix of harden-the-fuck-up juice, but definitely lacks the substance to make repeat visits (and the violence and prison sentences that ensue) worthwhile.

Author notes:
1. My mate Kyle told me to add 'attempted' in there. Softie. Law suits.
2. I'm sure there is some sort of Gucci/gooch Mane joke to be made here. I've taken the moral high ground and chosen to not make it. If you choose to do so, it will surely be your undoing.

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Record Reviews
Waka Flocka Flame


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DULL? reeeeeeally? are you sure that it's not just the more recent commerical rap records like Thank Me Later, T.I, My Dark Twisted Fantasy etc are leaving us with this need to jump all over the place production-wise ? They are giving us musical A.D.D. It's probably just me, I am unashamedly a fan of Waka but i kind of appreciate the 'consistency' he offers. Plus i think there are some definite stand out tracks, 'No Hands' is an absolute banger which in terms of sing-songability and polish is MILES ahead of some of the other tracks.

I have also been revisiting Onyx for the lols since loving Waka.

1 decade ago

Jonny Yes Yes

this record isn't a complete disaster but (personally anyway) i look for a bit more variety in my hip-hop.... i also think you;re right about the late run of Banging Holiday Albums probably spoiling me and thus making me a tougher 'critic' than usual on this kind of Banging Hardcore/Rape/Murder/Crunk music..

and.. ONYX will always have a place in my heart!

1 decade ago

The O

Bang on, Jonny....bang on

1 decade ago


no swag :(((

1 decade ago

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