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Polaroids Of Androids

Record Reviews

1.5

Weezer
Hurley

Fuck you Rivers Cuomo.

Fuck you for not caring anymore.

Fuck you for treating your fans like a joke.

Fuck you for releasing an "album", with songs so shit, that I doubt the first song you ever wrote was this fucking bad.

Fuck you for putting the fat fuck from Lost on the cover of your fucking stupid album.

Fuck you for naming said shit album after said shit character.

Fuck you for wasting a lot of people's time and money in making/publicising/selling this piece of turd.

Fuck you for evaporating the last molecules of credibility you had from your Blue Album/Pinkerton days.

Fuck you for still getting airplay for your stupid fucking album just because you're in a famous band with a major label1 behind your dumb ass.

Fuck you for not even hiding the fact that you don't give a shit about your new record, by announcing that you're going to do a bank roll down memory lane by touring your first two albums back-to-back – before you've even toured this abortion properly!

Fuck you for not playing both albums on the same night and making fans pay twice as much.

Fuck you for making me so angry that I'm compelled to write about it, thus publicising aforementioned album even more and possibly (though I pray to God2 hopefully not) leading to more unfortunate ears listening to it, in order to forge their own opinion.

Fuck you for fucking up those people's day now.

Fuck you Rivers Cuomo.

Editors notes:
1. While some may attempt to argue that the band's recent signing to Epitaph means they're now independent, it should be pointed out that Epitaph are registered with the RIAA and are distributed by the Alternative Distribution Alliance, which Warner Music Group owns 95% of. PS: there are no 'indie' labels anymore.
2. SATAN.

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Weezer

 

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Comments

flukazoid

But what do you really think, Rav?

Also what aspects of the album merited the 1.5 points that it did receive?

1 decade ago

Rav

@Flukazoid, I fuckin hate every second of it. It is aural poison. And as for the score, we here at PoA calculate our scores through a series of extremely complex algorithms calculated by Matt Damon, added to a bucket of mud, and tossed at a spinning, colour-coded wheel of chance, rotated by an army of polka dotted pigmy mice spinning a series of wheels and gears. To get into the finer details would melt your face. So just let it go.*

*This comment was posted while I was wasted after an awesome night of karaoke. "We built this city! We built this city on rock and roll!"

1 decade ago

Rav

@Flukazoid, I fuckin hate every second of it. It is aural poison. And as for the score, we here at PoA calculate our scores through a series of extremely complex algorithms calculated by Matt Damon, added to a bucket of mud, and tossed at a spinning, colour-coded wheel of chance, rotated by an army of polka dotted pigmy mice spinning a series of wheels and gears. To get into the finer details would melt your face. So just let it go.*

*This comment was posted while I was wasted after an awesome night of karaoke. "We built this city! We built this city on rock and roll!"

1 decade ago

Jim

1.5? You must not have listened to the Coldplay cover in the bonus tracks. Drops the rating right down.

1 decade ago

rubbertraits

This is the best review of this album that i've read. Fucking Weezer, man...

1 decade ago

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